HOW WILL I BENEFIT FROM DIVORCE COUNSELING?

Healing from a divorce is a three-step process; one must grieve their loss; they must create an identity as a non-partnered person; and they need to learn a new relationship model so they will avoid previous relationship pitfalls.

Step 1 – Move beyond grief: Where there is attachment and loss, inevitably there will be grief. As a grieving person, you will experience many different raw, sometimes conflicting, emotions including, sadness, love, hate, fear, regret, guilt, depression and anxiety. Given the pain of grief, many people will try to bypass it. Counseling will help you to confront your emotions so that you can successfully move beyond them.

Step 2 – Develop an identity apart from one’s spouse: In order to fully understand why your marriage collapsed, you must be helped to step back in time, not to the beginning of the marriage but to early childhood when you were taught how to empathize, love, share, comfort control aggression and to otherwise form healthy relationships. Counseling will help you to see how your early childhood relationships contributed positively and negatively to your marriage. You will then be in a prime place to define the behaviors, feelings and values you want to develop and change.

Step 3 – Learn a new model of partnership, which I call “Yours, Mine, Ours: Romantic Relationships Done Right.” Successful relationships must address both the growth of the individual as well as the growth of the relationship. This model will help you gain greater clarity of your feelings, thoughts, and needs and how to grant your partner the right to theirs.

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